It’s officially 75 days until I get married. 75 days until the best day of my life…supposedly. The thought of fitting into my wedding dress and having my photo taken gives me anxiety.
Tomorrow is the start of a new me.
Happy new year! It’s the time for reflection and new years resolutions. My instagram is full of top 9 liked photos, people partying into the new year and throwbacks. 2018 was a big year for me. Aidan started a job with the Police, we moved from Dunedin to Invercargill, sold our house and bought another, I got a big promotion at work, two of my best friends got engaged and one of best friends got married.
When thinking about 2019 there are 4 things I want to achieve: Lose 8kg before our wedding, run the Hawkes Bay half marathon, travel overseas to a tropical island and save $10,000 by 31/12/2019.
Let the planning begin!
Today wasn’t a bad day but it wasn’t great either. Aidan is working nights this week and I’m off work most of the week due to the stat days. I didn’t exercise since the gym is closed due to the public holidays and my body was a bit achy from the run yesterday. I didn’t eat anything bad but I did find myself grazing when I wasn’t hungry. I’ve started to research addiction and why people overeat etc and there’s always a deeper reason other than just “I like the taste”. My biggest weakness is that I eat when I’m bored. Today I read that boredom is another word for depressed.
Am I depressed??
This week I’ve had to entertain myself a lot as we’ve had three stat days off work and Aidan has been working nights all this week which means he sleeps in until around 3pm.
I’m reading a book that my Mum recommended to me which is called Mrs D is Going Without. It’s about a news presenter’s wife who is an alcoholic and how she became booze free. Even though I’m not an alcoholic, I can relate to her journey in so many ways. She talks about the struggles, her addiction, the light bulb moment, what helped her and what hindered. She’s actually who inspired me to start this blog.
I wouldn’t say I’ve had my light bulb moment but I’ve been researching lots about addiction. Stumbled my way through TED (highly recommend) and then have come across Tony Robbins on YouTube. He’s a motivational speaker and life coach. I’ve just started watching him on YouTube and he is ah-mazing. Alot about what he talks about makes perfect sense to me.
I had my first work out back at CrossFit for the year tonight. It was an absolute killer. We got home and cooked dinner and I had a shower while Aidan got tea ready. I had the best shower, played some music and danced and sang the sweat off. This is what true endorphins feel like.
It’s been over 2 weeks since I’ve written on here. I’m trying to reflect on the last 2 weeks and how it’s going. I can proudly say I’ve been going to Crossfit at least 5 days a week – even when Aidan can’t go. It was really scary at the start going on my own but once you turn up and you’re there, there’s no turning back. All I focused on was turning up and I did. It’s grown my confidence hugely and I realised, everyone else is so concerned on their own workout no one could give a fuck what weight you are lifting or how long it’s taking you to finish the round.
My eating has been pretty good. I’ve made a huge effort to eat well during the working week and then have something relaxed on either the Sat or Sun. I weigh in on a Sunday and even though we shouldn’t hold our worth to the number on the scales, it’s motivating and good to know I’m on the right path.
I was hoping to be under 72kg this week but I had actually put on 600kg. While this is so disappointing, it’s time to try something different in my diet and see if that works. I eat a huge amount of fruit which probably adds to quite a lot of “sugar” so that’s my first alteration for the week and see how we go.
Watch this space.
Sugah Addict 